


Outside Looking In

by junebug72



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Best Friends, Dev and Niall are actually pretty cool, M/M, Penelope isn't blind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-10-20 03:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17614955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junebug72/pseuds/junebug72
Summary: The story of Simon and Baz through the eyes of the people who know them best.





	1. Worrying about Simon

**Penelope**

I’m sitting at our table picking at my food and watching Simon scarf down roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. We’ve been back at Watford for a week now and I am worried sick about him. He’s always a little off at the start of term and it can take a few days for him to return to form, but this year is especially bad.

He doesn’t say much about how he spends his summers, but sometimes he lets things slip and I have a pretty clear idea of what the children’s homes are like for him. Anyone can see they don’t feed him very well, because he always comes back to school looking hollowed out. No wonder he is always hungry and dives into each meal like it will be his last. The Mage sends Simon to a different facility every year. He says it is to keep him safe, but I think it is just cruel (although I don’t say this to Simon - it would hurt his feelings).

One summer, I possessed the body of a rat that lived in his London care home and was able to get a good look around. The place was bloody awful - an institutional nightmare - cold metal bunk beds, prison-like showers, stark walls. The place was empty of warmth and teeming with loneliness and apathy. There was no sign of compassion from the adult supervisors, no friendship or solidarity among the kids who were staying there - just suspicion and hostility all around.

Normals are afraid of Simon, so it is impossible for him to make any emotional connections outside of Watford. To make things worse, his Watford friends aren’t allowed any contact with him over the summer. During those three months away, Simon is deprived of food, comfort, and affection. He never complains about it, but it makes me unbearably sad and fiercely protective. I would do anything for Simon.

People used to think we were going to get together eventually - maybe fall in love the way it happens in books or movies when best friends realize they are meant for each other. It isn’t like that though. It is hard to explain how I feel about Simon. I mean...in some ways it is really simple. I  _ love _ him. He is almost like a brother, like family, but different from that. After all, you are kind of stuck with your family. They are a part of you, whether or not you actually get on.

On our first day at Watford, when I looked over and saw Simon standing awkwardly, holding his wand backward, hunching his scrawny frame and looking around with lost eyes full of hope and apprehension, my heart squeezed. It is like something inside me recognized that we were meant to be in each other’s lives. We grabbed onto each other that day and have never let go. Simon is my best mate and I would trust him with my life (and have done - many times) and I know he feels the same about me. 

But I don’t  _ love _ him. Not in the way that makes me go weak in the knees. Not in the way that makes me feel like butterflies are having a ballroom dance in my stomach. Not in the way that I feel about Micah.

I know our friendship is different from what other girls have with their guy friends. Simon and I tell each other everything. We have a “no secrets” pact and if one of us does try to hold something back, the other one can usually see right through it - so there is really no point. We can let down our guards and be our true selves with each other and sometimes that openness leads us to some crazy places.

I smile as I remember Christmas break during our third year - before I met Micah and before Simon started dating Agatha. Simon always spends the holiday with the Wellbeloves, but that year I talked Mum into letting him come over for a couple of days during the break. We were sitting on the floor of my bedroom late at night, talking about snogging and wondering how we would know what to do when the time came to try it for real. So, we decided to practice.

At first, it was just about as awkward as you can imagine it would be between two people who are definitely not attracted to each other, but then we treated it more scientifically and we ended up learning a few things. Like, what to do with your hands so they aren’t hanging stupidly by your sides, and how to start kisses slow and soft and gradually get more intense. Simon gave a thumbs up to a lip sucking maneuver that I now use to drive Micah absolutely mad and I approved this thing Simon did with his chin that I can’t even describe, but it was very hot. After a half hour or so, we were both laughing too hard to do any more, so we watched Some Kind of Wonderful on DVD and fell asleep curled up on opposite sides of the couch - feet and legs all tangled together.

We can be affectionate like that and never have to worry that the other one will misunderstand. It is such a relief to have a close connection with someone that doesn’t come with all the confusion of a romantic relationship. After all, I can turn to Micah when I need something more. And Simon can turn to Agatha. Or could. Things have changed between them.

Looking at Simon now, I can see that he hasn’t even registered that I disappeared into my head for awhile because he is absentmindedly chewing on a scone and staring into space himself. This year, he is even more out of sync than usual - like there is a part of him that is still missing - that didn’t come back with him from Liverpool (where he stayed this summer). I want to take him by the shoulders and shake him until all the broken pieces fall back into place and he is whole again - smiling and full of life.

“Hey...Simon” I lean my shoulder into him, but get no response. “Simon.  Earth to Simon!” Now I’m poking him in his too-prominent ribs and he finally startles and looks over at me.

“What? Penny, what are you doing?”

“Trying to get your attention, space cadet. Are you done eating? Let’s go.”

Simon nods, grabs another scone and pulls himself up. “Fine, fine. I’m coming.” He glances at a table across the dining hall where Dev and Niall are sitting. They glare at him and he scowls back as we walk past and out into the sun. We head into the courtyard, but I’m not ready for us to go to our rooms, leaving Simon alone with his dark thoughts and his obsessive stewing over what in the hell has happened to Baz. 

“Do you want to go for a walk? Let’s go over and see Ebb,” I suggest.  He shrugs and we turn that direction. I grab his arm, pull him close, and lean into him, holding tight.  _ Where are you, Simon? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: First attempt at writing fan fiction, so don't be too hard on me.
> 
> I thought it might be fun to tell the story of Simon and Baz, but only using the POV of the other characters. It seemed possible that their friends knew more about what was going on than we realized and I wanted to explore that. I'm more interested in the relationships among the characters than the Humdrum / Mage plot points, so that is where the focus will be.
> 
> Thanks to my beta reader: rachelew98


	2. Worrying About Baz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: suicide mention

**Niall**

Where in the actual fuck is Baz? 

School started weeks ago and still no sign of him and _ it just doesn’t make sense _ .  Baz is set on finishing his eighth year at Watford and he is determined to beat Bunce for top of the class. No way he would drop out.

Dev and I are going mental trying to figure out what could have happened to him. At first, we spent all our free time up in our room going over the different possibilities. Maybe he is really sick. Maybe he is on holiday in Ibiza (that is the rumor we are spreading around school). Maybe his father followed through on the threat to make him leave school. Dev tried asking his own family (he and Baz are cousins), but they didn’t seem to know anything either. 

The weird thing is, he isn’t responding to texts or answering calls (yeah, we have mobiles at school. Our families would never let us come here without them). Baz may be a right git sometimes, but he always texts back - even if it is just an insult or a funny meme.

We can’t let anyone else see how freaked out we are. Baz would kill us if we let down our guard in front of Simon Snow, so we keep up the act in public - sneering anytime he looks our way and acting like there is nothing weird going on at all.

Snow got up in my face after the first day of class - demanding to know where Baz is and what he is planning. I played it off the best I could, but it rattled me. Snow looked like he was about to explode - reeking of the smoke and stench that is his magic. He is always stupidly over the top when it comes to Baz, but this was next level insane. 

Snow followed us around for at least a month after that and confronted me about Baz a few more times, but he finally stopped. I doubt he has given up searching though. Snow may be a tosser, but he is persistent when he sets his mind to something. Dev and I are actually hoping Snow figures something out soon because we have no clue what to think. 

It is almost Halloween and Baz is still missing. Dev is sitting in his desk chair, gazing out the window. I’m lying on my bed. We aren’t talking because there is nothing to say that we haven’t said already. I stare up at the ceiling and think about how this year is so different from what we planned and about how much I miss having Baz around.

Being one of Baz’s mates is...complicated. He is a master at acting like he doesn’t give a shit about anything or anyone. If you want to be his friend, you are implicitly agreeing to help him maintain that veneer of indifference wherever you go. Most people think he is that way all the time - stalking around, sneering at babies and insulting everyone he meets. 

The truth is, when it is just us, he loosens up and slips off his “I’m a pretentious prick” facade. He is hilarious and irreverent - his impression of the Minotaur is spot on and dead funny. He is wicked smart, has outrageous taste in music and knows more about pop culture than anyone I’ve ever met.

He is also surprisingly kind. Last year, I was failing Greek and Baz tutored me every night until I got my grade back up. Dev told me about the time he got into a huge fight with his dad and Baz gave him a place to stay until he was ready to go back home. Baz wouldn’t want anyone to know this, but when he cares about you, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you.

Dev speaks now, so softly I can barely hear him. “Niall…” His voice shakes. “Niall, Baz was so depressed..” My stomach clenches and I almost gag. Because this is getting dangerously close to the one possibility we haven’t talked about yet. The one we can’t express because it is too terrible to imagine.

“Mate, don’t go there” I say with bravado that I don’t feel, but I know exactly what he is talking about.

Baz was gutted the last time we saw him at his parent’s party in Hampshire a few weeks before school started up again. We were sprawled out in the back lawn - away from all the other guests, drinking vodka out of Baz’s small flask. Baz was in a dark mood, playing around with the fire he can pull out of thin air. His father had confronted him that afternoon about doing his duty for the Families and staying home from school as part of the war against the Mage.

“I don’t care about the war or the Mage. I don’t care about my responsibility to the Families or my destiny. It’s all a joke. I don’t want any of it.” He conjured another ball of fire in his palm, threw it up in the air and caught it with his other hand. 

It was bloody unnerving. We’ve seen Baz in a funk before - the boy is a poster child for teenage mood swings and angst - but this was different. He seemed agitated, even reckless. 

“Cut it out Baz, you’re too drunk to be playing around with fire. You’re flammable,” Dev whispered nervously. We’ve known Baz is a vampire since fifth year when Snow was telling anyone who would listen. At first we didn’t believe it, no one did, not even the Mage. But one night we caught Baz with blood on his collar sneaking in after hunting and he admitted it to us.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m already dead anyway and we all know Snow is going to finish me off the first chance he gets. Why not go out on my terms -  in my own style? In a ball of fire,” Baz laughed, but it was not his usual laugh. It sounded ragged, harsh and a bit manic, to be honest.

Dev looks at me now and I can see that we are both remembering that night when Baz basically told us he wanted to end his life and we didn’t do a damn thing.

Now we are fucking terrified that he went through with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea of Dev, Niall, and Baz having a true friendship and that they see a side of him that no one else sees.


	3. Fallout

**Penelope**

Baz just made his grand return to school by bursting into the dining room and I can feel something jolt to life inside Simon. He jumps to his feet, drawing his sword (which seems extreme) and is practically vibrating with energy and magic.

I tug at his hand, urging him to sit back down. He finally does, but it is a different Simon than the one who was sitting next to me five minutes ago. He is more alive and more focused than I have seen him all year - like whatever has been missing all this time just slammed into him from above and woke him up -  something electric.

What in Merlin’s name is going on?

 

**Dev**

My heart is pounding and as I leave the dining hall it is taking every ounce of self control I have to saunter slowly across the courtyard and up to our room in Mummers House. I can feel Niall just a few steps behind me but I cannot look at him or I will lose it. My breath is starting to come faster now and as soon as the door closes behind us, a strangled sound bursts out of my throat and I am crying, shaking, and gasping awful shuddering breaths.

Niall puts his hand on my neck and guides me to my bed, sitting down next to me and keeping his arm around my shoulder.

“Alright Dev” he mutters and I can feel the strain in his body. He is shaking too, but no tears - that isn’t his style.

I wish I could pull it together, but I am undone. All the tension and fear that I have been holding in these past two months is pouring out of me and I have to let it run its course. _Baz is alive_ . My relief is a tangible, palpable thing that is making it hard for me to breathe... _Baz is alive_.

There is a single knock and then Baz swaggers in wearing a cocky smile - like he hasn’t been _missing_ for eight weeks - like he was just off playing tennis or something. His smile fades when he sees me blubbering.

“What’s wrong mate?” Baz asks in concern.

Niall is boiling mad. He is across the room in a flash and gets right up into Baz’s face.

“What the fuck do you think, Baz? You stroll in here after all this time like nothing has bloody happened? We had no idea where you were. You were a mess the last time we saw you - you didn’t show up to school. We didn’t know...We were scared, weren’t we?”

Niall pauses for a minute, but he is red and breathing hard. He shoves Baz’s shoulders with both hands. “Where were you? Why didn’t you call or text us? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Niall’s outburst is calming me down, weirdly enough. I wipe my eyes and look up at Baz who is staring down at his feet, running his hand through his hair, biting his lip. When he looks up, there is no trace of cockiness and his eyes look a little red. I can see that he looks even more pale and thin than usual.

“I didn’t think.. I was...I was taken. It was….” Baz hesitates and I don’t know when I’ve ever seen him at a loss for words. “It was a nightmare. I was held against my will...they took my mobile - I _couldn’t_ text or call. Afterwards, I was sick and my family wouldn’t leave me alone. I barely convinced them to let me come back. I’m sorry. I can’t tell you any more. Maybe someday. But I can’t now. I’m...I’m sorry you were scared.” He finishes lamely.

We are all still for a few minutes and the sound of my ticking alarm clock seems deafening in this silence. I need more than that because whatever he just said doesn’t begin to explain where he has been for two months. It does nothing to calm my frazzled nerves or satisfy my curiosity.

On the other hand, Baz is here and safe and we are so glad to see him that it doesn’t seem right to push him for anything more. Niall and I glance at each other. He shrugs and I sort of nod and shake my head at the same time, rolling my eyes.

“Baz, you git, you’ll do anything for attention, won’t you? Getting kidnapped? So fucking dramatic.” I sniffle a little and then giggle (embarrassing). Niall snorts; Baz looks at both of us and he is smirking and then we are all bent over laughing. The tension starts to ease and for right now, it is enough.

 

**Agatha**

I am up on the ramparts again. I’ve been up here almost every night since Simon and I broke up, trying to make sense of my feelings.

I was mortified today when Baz burst into the dining hall and both Simon and I jumped to our feet in front of the whole school. No one thought anything about Simon. He is always freaking out around Baz. But I made a right fool of myself, breaking that mug like an idiot. I hope everyone was too busy looking at Baz to notice my reaction.

Baz stared right at me when he came in, but it wasn’t like I had imagined. I guess I hoped he would stride over to me and grab my hands again and sweep me off my feet. Baz isn’t really the type for public displays of affection though. Is he? I actually have no idea. As far as I know, Baz has never showed much interest in anyone. He just hangs around Dev and Niall being superior and spends a lot of time glaring at Simon, making fun of Simon, playing tricks on Simon...

Simon...I still don’t know if I did the right thing. He was so hurt when I broke things off and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. He has been my friend since that first Christmas when my parents invited him to come home with us for the holiday. I still care for him and it is weird that we aren’t hanging out. I miss him, but it feels strange to be around him now.

Simon and I started dating during our fifth year when a lot of our classmates started to couple up. Even Penny was all wrapped up in the American exchange student, Micah. It was exciting to look over at Simon, who is handsome and kind, and see him looking back at me the same way. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I thought my heart would burst. Everything was perfect and I was so happy.

Toward the end of sixth year, I noticed that other couples our age seemed like they were getting more serious. They were desperate to be together all the time and couldn’t keep their hands off one another. Penny went to visit Micah the summer after our sixth year and things - uh...progressed...between them.

It wasn’t like that for Simon and me. He never tried to do anything more than kiss me - although he is a _very_ good kisser. One time, we were snogging in a little alcove outside the astronomy tower and he slid his hands under my shirt. But before things could go any further, we were interrupted by Miss Possibelf coming down the hall and he never did it again.

And I didn’t really care. We still had fun together and I just figured that was enough. Then, at the Winter Solstice Formal last year, Baz asked me to dance. He smirked across the room at Simon and then smiled down at me, looking into my eyes. He was a wonderful dancer (poor Simon is hopeless) and I have to admit, my heart beat faster.

After that, I started to wonder if I really wanted to be with Simon anymore. I started to want something (someone?) different. I want someone to be desperate for me. I want to make someone feel out of control because they can’t stop thinking about me or wanting to be with me. _I_ want to feel out of control.

Last year, in the Wavering Wood, I caught Baz draining the blood of a rabbit. (It turns out Simon was right about him being a vampire all along.) Baz begged me not to tell anyone (I would never) and then he grabbed my hands. Maybe something more would have happened if Simon and Penny hadn’t shown up just then and been dragged away by the Humdrum.

I don’t want to hurt Simon, but don’t I deserve a chance at heart-pounding love? Maybe something could happen with Baz. Now that he’s finally back at school, I at least want to find out.


	4. Secrets

**Penelope**

I know there is something that Simon isn’t telling me. He was late to breakfast this morning and hardly spoke to me at all. When I asked him if he wanted to study later, he started stammering and pulling nervously at his hair and rushed off to class without answering. I could totally call him on it, but I’m going to give him some time. I know he will tell me eventually; he always does.

Besides, in spite of our “no-secrets” pact, there are a few things that I have never told Simon. I usually don’t keep things from him - even when my family asks me to stay quiet. But, when it comes to Baz...I just _can’t_ tell Simon everything I know about about him..

For one thing, Simon wouldn’t listen. He is completely irrational when it comes to Baz. At first, I believed his “Baz is plotting” nonsense. But after awhile, it became clear to me that it was, in fact, _nonsense_. Now, I completely tune Simon out when he starts on one of his rants and hell if I’m going to the one to bring up the subject.

When I’m not spending time with Simon or Agatha, I’m usually on my own - and that’s the way I like it. I’m an introvert, so I’m happier with only a few friends and I need _a lot_ of time by myself - to think, to process, to recharge...and to people watch. It might seem a little bit creepy, but I learn a lot about people when they don’t realize I’m paying attention. That’s how I have come to know some things about Baz that I haven’t told Simon.

For example, I know that Baz doesn’t want to fight with Simon. I’ve observed enough of their arguments to know that Baz almost _never_ instigates them - outside of the occasional sneering remark when Simon does something dumb in class. Simon usually starts a fight by following Baz around and making accusations.

Dev and Niall are often in the thick of it as well. They might do something annoying, like spelling paper airplanes to hit Simon in the head, and Simon blames Baz. Or they start talking trash, Simon gets fired up, and then Baz will join in.

Don’t get me wrong. Baz can be a right git. He can be horrible to Simon and he is so pompous it makes my skin crawl. But like I said, it usually comes _after_ Simon has done something to him.

Near the end of last year, I was studying at my usual table in the library. Simon was flopped in a chair next to me attempting to finish his homework, but he was restless and agitated. It was driving me mental and I had just told Simon to “bugger off so I can study in peace” when the door flew open and Baz strolled in.

He didn’t even look at us, just strode across the room, threw down his bag, and got settled at his favorite table. But Simon immediately started muttering under his breath “What is he up to? Why does he spend so much time in the library? It’s obvious he is planning something big. Look at those spell books he’s reading.” I thought about pointing out that I spend as much time in the library as Baz does and was also studying a spell book, but Simon wouldn’t have listened and I decided to save my breath.

When Baz got up and moved into the stacks, Simon waited a few minutes and followed him saying, “I’m going to see what he is doing.”

I just rolled my eyes and kept studying. A few minutes later, I heard Simon shouting “What in the bloody hell are you playing at, you prat?” and Baz snarling back “Even if I told you, you wouldn’t understand because you are an idiot.”

Great. I jumped up and headed back there to make sure Simon didn’t lose his cool and go off.

I caught sight of them through an open space in the shelves and stopped before either of them could see me. I wanted to keep an eye on the situation, but I didn’t want to get involved.

“Stay away from Agatha,” Simon almost growled.

Baz snarled, “I can’t help it if Wellbelove is looking elsewhere. That sounds like your issue, not mine.”

Simon stared at him for a minute, then barked “fuck off” - his trademark closing when he can’t think of anything else to say - and stormed out of the library.

I could feel the heat and smell the smoke pouring off him and felt quite proud that he had the sense to walk away before he exploded. I started to follow him, but then I caught sight of Baz’s face and I paused for a moment.

After Simon left, Baz’s whole demeanor changed. He didn’t look mad or triumphant; he just looked exhausted and kind of sad. He sighed and his face collapsed as he slumped against the bookshelves, dropped his head and brought his hands up to cover his face. “Damn it Simon,” he muttered under his breath.  

I slipped away before he saw me, but I couldn’t believe it. I would have sworn that he felt bad about what had just happened. And I’ve never heard him call Simon by his first name like that before.

A few minutes later, he came back out looking just as haughty and unflustered as usual, like nothing had even happened.

I didn’t tell Simon about what I’d seen, but it did start me thinking. Simon is so paranoid and suspicious. It comes from his childhood in the care homes. He doesn’t trust people and he is always assuming and expecting the worst. At the same time, Simon doesn’t have regular blow ups with anyone but Baz. What is it about Baz that gets Simon so worked up?

I have also observed Baz do some really nice things for other people. Last year, he tutored Niall in Greek in a quiet corner of the library almost every night for a month. He was surprisingly patient, which you would not expect from Baz and I know Niall’s grade went up because the Minotaur complimented him in front of the whole class.

Another time, I saw him talking to Dev privately, when Dev seemed to be upset. Baz had his hand on Dev’s shoulder and was just quietly speaking. Dev was nodding and finally laughed before the two of them headed off to the football pitch.

Probably the biggest shocker was when I saw him do something kind for Simon who had just come back from one of his missions with the Mage. Simon was knackered -  dead on his feet going to and from classes, struggling to carry his books and even having trouble opening the heavy doors in the school buildings.

Baz was walking alone, well behind Simon. I was out of sight in a alcove working on homework and no one else was around. I saw Baz pull out his wand, point it toward Simon, and mutter **“** **_Light as a Feather_ ** **”** and “ **_Walking on Air_ **.” Immediately, it was like a weight lifted off Simon. He straightened up and was almost gliding into the dining hall. I know Baz only did it because he didn’t think anyone else was watching and Simon would never know it was him.  But it gave me a warm feeling.

The last thing I know about Baz really is a secret. I found it out accidentally during the Winter Solstice dance our sixth year.

I had slipped outside for some privacy to video chat with Micah. Mum let me borrow her mobile. She had been to a meeting with the Mage that day and had agreed to fill in as chaperone for the dance because Coach Mac left early for the holiday.

I found a secluded area in the gardens that was hidden by some bushes, cast a silencing spell so no one would hear us and connected.

It was afternoon in Chicago and Micah had just gotten out of school so we were talking about his classes and the upcoming winter holiday. Suddenly, I heard some voices approaching and realized it was Dev, Niall, and Baz and they were talking about Simon.

“Micah, be quiet for a minute. I want to hear this” I practically hissed at him.

I peered out through the bushes and I could see the three of them swaggering down the path, passing a flask back and forth. Dev and Niall were laughing and Baz was smirking.

“Man, did you see Snow’s face when you cut in and asked Agatha to dance? I thought he was going to go off right there” Dev was giggling and falling on Baz’s shoulder.

“You have him totally convinced that you are going for Agatha,” Niall snickered. “He is so easy to piss off. Honestly, is there anyone at this school who is stupider than Snow?”

I started to get angry and I almost stood up to confront them about it. I don’t like to get in the middle of their stupid war, but when people start attacking Simon, I get a little defensive.

“Too bad Agatha’s not a bloke, then you might actually enjoy getting her away from Snow.” Dev was gasping with laughter.

I froze, expecting Baz to punch Dev or deny what he was saying, but he just laughed too. “Yeah right. I can find my own boyfriend, thanks. I don’t need Snow’s leftovers.”

“Oh yeah. What boyfriend? I haven’t seen any evidence of that.”

“I’m holding out for the right guy. Besides, what about you? I don’t see you hooking up with any ladies around here.”

Then they were out of earshot and I couldn’t hear any more of their conversation. I flopped back down on the ground and stared at the mobile screen.

“Wow. Plot twist” Micah said.

“Yeah. No kidding. I can’t even process that.”

More voices started to come outside and I realized that the dance was wrapping up. “Gotta go babe. I’ll talk to you when I get home for Christmas.”

I haven’t told anyone about what I heard. Only Micah knows and that’s just because he heard it too. It’s not that I think Simon will care if Baz is gay. Not at all. We have talked about it a lot and Simon is actually very open when it comes to sexuality.

Once we were watching a movie where this guy had a girlfriend, but then ended up falling in love with a new boy that moved into town. Simon didn’t see too interested in the early love scenes between the boy and girl, but at the end when the two boys were kissing, he definitely had a _reaction_. I saw him blushing and shifting around and when the movie was over, he left the room pretty quickly and was gone for awhile. I’m not sure what that means, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Simon isn’t 100% straight.

It’s just that I don’t think Baz’s sexual orientation is my secret to tell. It is his private business. Honestly, it makes me feel a little soft toward Baz - knowing that he is longing for connection, just like the rest of us.

Part of me wants to tell Simon everything I know about Baz - to see if it would change anything between them. If Simon knew, maybe he would see that there is more to Baz than he thinks. Maybe he would see that Baz is just a boy, not a monster, and that they have a lot more in common than either of them realizes.

But something keeps stopping me. If and when I do tell Simon, I want it to make a difference. If I tell Simon and he doesn’t hear me or believe me, then I will have wasted those secrets. And I just don’t know if Simon is ready to hear me. So I have been biding my time and waiting for the right moment.


	5. Schemes

**Niall**

A few weeks into our sixth year at Watford, Baz followed Dav and I into our room after football practice. We were all still pretty keyed up; we had played a brilliant scrimmage - the sixth and seventh year boys had thumped the fifth and eighth years, so we were stoked.

I pulled out some sports drinks and passed them around. Dev and I flopped back on our beds; Baz leaned against my closet door and we relaxed in comfortable silence.

After a few minutes, Baz cleared his throat and I looked over at him. He hadn’t opened his drink yet and was flipping it around in his hands. His eyes shifted over toward the door like he was planning his escape and he seemed tense.

“Lads,” Baz cleared his throat again. “Yeah, uh I wanted to tell you...I’m gay,” he finally blurted and then turned bright red, still not meeting our eyes.

We stared at him for a few seconds and my mind was racing: _ this is important; don’t fuck this up; be supportive _ , but I wasn’t coming up with the words and I was starting to panic.

Thank Crowley for Dev who always knows exactly the right thing to say. He grinned at Baz and said “Yeah. No shit” like it was old news. Like Baz had just told us that he plays the violin or that he loves salt and vinegar crisps. 

“Alert the media. Baz likes boys,” I was finally able to speak, holding my hands over my head and flaring out my fingers to show words up on an invisible marquee.

Baz laughed and visibly relaxed as he slid down to sit on the floor, opened his sports drink, and gulped it down.

“Seriously mate. I can’t say that I’m shocked, but I know it wasn’t easy for you to tell us. We are with you 100% and will listen if you want to talk about it.” Dev glanced over at me and I nodded.

Baz shared a little then, about how last year had been so rough because he knew there was something going on inside him, but he didn’t know what it was. Once he figured it out, it was like the pieces fell into place and he just knew. 

The more he talked, the more it all made sense to me too. I’ve never seen him look twice at girls or even talk about them. Baz being gay seemed so obvious and right in retrospect.

“Do you...I dunno...fancy anyone?” I asked him.

Baz hesitated for a second, but then said, “No. I know I’m gay, but I haven’t really thought about  anyone in particular yet.” He didn’t look at us, staring at his fingers wrapped around his drink bottle.

Dev and I glanced at each other.  _ He’s lying. _ We both knew it. Dev shook his head at me almost imperceptibly and we let it go. 

We talked for a bit longer and then Baz yawned, “I’m beat and want to get showered before Snow gets back. See you tomorrow. Thanks guys. I mean it.”

It didn’t take us long after that conversation to figure out that Baz did, in fact, fancy someone and it was Simon bloody Snow of all people. Leave it to Baz to fall in love with his straight roommate who literally cannot stand him.

Baz never told us about his obsessive crush of course; Dev is the one who first connected the dots and talked to me about it one night a few days after Baz came out to us.

“Think about it, Niall. Who does Baz glare at in the dining hall  _ every single day _ ? Who has Baz spent his entire childhood teasing and tormenting? Who is literally the only person that Baz talks about - to the point that we both want to strangle him?”

“You’re talking about Snow, obviously, but those are all bad things Dev. Why do you think that means Baz is in love with him?”

“He’s covering up his real feelings for Snow by acting like he hates him. You know as well as I do how Baz can put on an act. He would never show his feelings in public. If he wasn’t mad for Snow, he would just ignore him like he does everybody else in the world.”

“But Baz and Snow have been fighting ever since our first year. Baz said he just figured out he was gay last year. It doesn’t make sense.” I was still not convinced.

Dev groaned and lightly punched me in the shoulder. “That’s the way it works! Haven’t you ever watched a movie or read a book?” Dev is a sucker for rom-coms. “People start off hating each other and then they realize they are actually in love.”

“So wait a minute, are you saying that Snow is in love with Baz too?”

“No way. That’s the problem. Snow is straight, right? He only has eyes for Wellbelove. We have to do something to help Baz get over him. So he doesn’t make a fool of himself or get hurt.”

After that, I started paying closer attention and realized that Dev was dead right. Baz couldn’t keep his eyes off Simon anytime they were in the same vicinity. It was like his eyes were magnetically attracted. I don’t think it was obvious to anyone but us though. Baz could give a master class on composure at all times.

The thing is, Baz’s unruffled and icy public persona covers a sensitive soul which has already been deeply hurt by lots of shitty things beyond his control. The last thing either of us would want would be for Baz to have his heart broken. 

I agreed with Dev that we needed to intervene. That is how “Operation Save-Baz-From-Himself” was launched. We came up with a two pronged approach: keep Baz and Simon fighting and find another bloke for Baz to date.

We were pretty successful at the first part of the plan. It honestly was not very difficult since Baz and Snow are already quite practiced at fighting. Snow is paranoid with a quick temper and Baz is way too proud to back down from a challenge. 

We just looked for opportunities to make one of them pissed off at the other and they did the rest on their own:

  * Casting **_“Watch your step”_** to make Snow fall when he walked past Baz, so he thought Baz had tripped him intentionally.
  * Crumbling scones on Baz’s side of their shared room, so he blamed Snow for the mess.
  * Getting Baz to say insulting things about the Mage when he didn’t realize Snow was within earshot. Simon went mental and it turned into a huge fight
  * Knocking Simon’s elbow, so he would spill his drink on Baz’s violin case. I thought Baz was going to rip off Simon’s head that time.



Dev and I became masters at setting Simon and Baz against each other without either of them catching on that we were the ones instigating most of their battles. It became quite a game for us. One time, I spotted Bunce looking at us through narrowed eyes after we had spelled some paper airplanes into Snow’s head and he had screamed at Baz, but most of the time no one noticed what we were doing. 

We were the ones who orchestrated the entire deception with Agatha, convincing Baz that it would be hilarious to make Snow believe there was something going on between the two of them. Baz really threw himself into it, although I think he was secretly hoping that Simon would be jealous for a completely different reason.

We were much less successful at distracting Baz with other guys. I talked to a bloke a year older than us who regularly snogged his boyfriend between classes and found out the names of some other gay guys at Watford. When I suggested them to Baz, he wasn’t interested - saying he needed to concentrate on his schoolwork, didn’t have time for dating, and wasn’t ready to be fully  _ out _ at school anyway.

Over the summer, Dev was talking to a waiter named Oliver at the club and found out that he was gay and a uni student. He pointed out Baz lounging by the pool and we could see that Oliver was impressed. Dev said he should take Baz a drink and introduce himself. We were watching from a distance and it was a trainwreck. At first, Baz looked confused, then embarrassed, and ended up snarling at Oliver to “bugger off,” glaring at him and then at us. It took him awhile to forgive us for that and we haven’t tried again.

This year, since Baz has been back, Dev and I have not had the heart to continue our plotting. Simon and Baz both seem tired, anxious, and unhealthy. They haven’t been fighting as much - or at all really. Simon has been staring at Baz and following him around, but it has a weird vibe, different from the way it has been in past years.

This morning at breakfast, Baz said he wanted to talk to us later and we agreed to meet in a quiet spot in the hallway between classes. I had to stay after to talk to the Minotaur about my recent quiz in Greek, so I am late arriving. Baz and Dev are already there, looking impatient.

Baz starts talking in a loud whisper as soon as I walk up. “We don’t have much time, so I’m just going to give you the short version. Snow told me last night that my mother appeared when the Veil was down. She talked to him because I wasn’t there. She told him that her killer walks and I need to bring her peace.”

I gasp and Dev looks pale. “What the fuck” he mutters, “how are you supposed to do that?”

Baz seems strangely calm, considering the circumstances. “Snow has agreed to help me. We made a truce this morning and we are going to figure it out together.”

“What? Let  _ us _ help, Baz. We are your best friends. You don’t need that git. We can do it.” I argue, my heart sinking. Snow has a hero complex and if he is going to help with this, chances are that Baz will fall even harder than he already has.

“Snow is already jittery about working with me - given our history. I think he would wig out completely if you two were involved. See - he’s already giving us the evil eye.”

We look over to see Snow lurking down the hall pretending like he isn’t spying on us.

Baz snorts softly. “Look. Snow might be a dumbass, but I can use his stupid powerful magic if this thing turns weird. I’ll let you know what we come up with and if there is anything you can do to help. I promise.”

We reluctantly agree because we don’t really have a choice.

“Maybe we should just let it go and see what happens,” Dev muses as we watch Baz walk away. “You know, it’s possible that Simon…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Never mind. Let’s go to class.” Dev shakes his head and starts to move away. I think I know what he was going to say, but I’m not sure if he is right. All I know is that something has shifted between Simon and Baz and it is unsettling to say the least. I hope Baz is going to be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having so much fun writing this. Thanks for the comments and kudos. They have really kept me motivated and excited to keep going.


	6. Sharing Magic

**Miss Possibelf**

Lessons are finally over for the day. I decide to take tea in my classroom so I can finish grading papers. I prefer to get my work done before I go to my chambers for the evening. That way I can really sink into my guilty pleasure -  binge watching Downton Abbey (for the third time). I’m almost to the episode where Branson and Sybil run away together. Merlin, it gives me goosebumps and reminds me so much of Ned - my long lost first love.

Giving myself a shake, I turn to finish up the last few papers, but I hear shouts in the courtyard and footsteps running down the hallway. Rhys is wheeling by my room heading outside and I step to the doorway to ask him what is going on.

“Dragon attack,” he whispers hoarsely, looking pale and frightened. 

I grip my walking stick and run ahead of him into the courtyard and across the drawbridge. When I reach the lawn, my attention is immediately drawn to a group of third years huddled under a tree. Almost in slow motion, the dragon roars, changes direction mid-air, and lurches towards the terrified children. I run to them casting defensive spells as I go.

Simon Snow is frantically trying to distract the beast from attacking. He is one of the bravest students I have ever taught, always rushing into dangerous situations without hesitation, but lacking the focus and ability to be truly effective. Almost on cue, he bellows,  **_“Your attention please!”_ **  As usual, it is not the best spell and he uses way too much magic to cast it, but it does the trick. Everyone’s attention is riveted to him, including the dragon’s.

The next few minutes pass in a blur and I’m afraid Simon is trying to kill the dragon because he doesn’t have any other idea what to do. But now Basilton Pitch is running out on the ramparts shouting for Simon to stop. He floats across the moat and begins casting “ **_Ladybird, Ladybird_ ** ”. It is a very inventive use of a common spell and I’m impressed with his creativity and skill.

Simon has stopped attacking the dragon and is watching Basilton, transfixed. He jumps off the dragon’s neck and moves closer, almost as if drawn by a string until he is standing right behind the other boy. Basilton is relentlessly chanting the nursery rhyme and while it has had some effect, it seems like he is starting to lose momentum and his magic is weakening. I should probably try to think of a back-up plan.

Then, Simon reaches out and puts his hand on Basilton’s shoulder. A low thrum begins to pulse through the air and I can feel it vibrating under my feet. Basilton straightens up and the power returns to his voice. He is speaking the spell with more magic than I have ever heard him use before. There is a swirling blend of their two magics -  hot, electric, smoky - charging the words and crackling through the air all around us. The dragon is mesmerized by it, but eventually turns and flies away. Everyone is cheering and moving back inside, but I continue to watch the boys.

Basilton turns around slowly as Simon’s hand drops to his side. The two boys gaze at each other, oblivious to the chaos of the crowd scattering around them. Basilton looks rattled and confused, but he cannot take his eyes away from Simon who is staring back with an unreadable expression.

***

After things have settled down, I return to my classroom to gather my thoughts and to process what I have just witnessed. I’ve been aware of the strong connection between Simon and Basilton for some time, but this is the closest it has come to the surface - straining to break through their defensive walls. 

I suppose I have a softness for young people who been wounded early in life and Simon and Basilton certainly qualify. They are two of my favorite students, so I have paid special attention to them over the years. Basilton is brilliant, full of wit and intelligence. Simon is kind, fierce, and loyal. They both have so much potential and yet they throw up obstacles to make things more difficult for themselves

The Crucible put them together as roommates, but I don’t know when I’ve seen two people so hellbent on making each other miserable. For the longest time, they were bound in mutual dislike and contempt. I couldn’t understand what kept them coming back for more. Why wouldn’t they just leave each other alone? 

Now, I have come to believe that they are drawn to one another in a way that neither of them fully understands. From my view in the front of the classroom, I have seen many lingering looks pass between them. Simon is suspicious of Basilton, but underneath that suspicion is confusion and fascination. Basilton is completely smitten with Simon - that I am sure of - but he has such control of his emotions that it is deeply hidden. He only allows himself the satisfaction of watching Simon when he believes no one else will notice.

This year there has been a softening between them. Simon was beside himself when Basilton was missing, moving around in a haze - distracted and restless. When I found him in the Mage’s office, Simon claimed he was concerned that Basilton might be involved in a sinister plot, but his words lacked conviction. I could see Simon was worried sick, but I don’t believe he realized that his feelings about Basilton were evolving. 

Since Basilton returned, they haven’t been fighting and while there is still tension, it has a different feel to it. But sharing magic like they did earlier today is something else entirely. Simon’s magic is overwhelmingly strong and dangerous, but Basilton was able to absorb it and wield it effectively. It is fascinating that their magic is so compatible when they seem to always be at odds.

There is a slight noise and I look up to see Professor Minos standing in the doorway. He leans against the frame, frowning slightly. “Good evening, Miss Possibelf.”

“Good evening.” I can tell he has more to say, so I just look at him and wait.

“You were out there today during the dragon attack. You saw what happened between Mr. Snow and Mr. Pitch.” 

“Yes I did. I think everyone saw. It was quite remarkable.” I say quietly. 

“Remarkable indeed. The students are going crazy trying to figure out how they did it. I just passed 5 or 6 different groups attempting to share magic, with no success. Not surprising, since sharing magic isn’t generally possible between mages, as you and I both know.”

“Not usually, no.” I hedge.  I suspect where he is going with this, but I am letting him lead the conversation.

“Have you ever noticed anything between them before? Anything that would explain this?” he asks in confusion. “I always thought they hated each other.”

I make a noncommittal noise. My observations about the boys are not something I want to share with him. Whatever their relationship may or may not be, it is private and best left for the two of them to work out.

“Possible or not, we all saw it happen this afternoon. Nothing like that has been documented since magical records started to be kept. Only a handful of mages are even familiar with the legends and would understand the significance.” He sighs and stands up straight. “Well, we will just have to see what develops. It could be quite fascinating.”

“Yes. I agree. We can only hope for the best,” I reply, “and...I think we should keep this to ourselves for now.” Our eyes meet briefly and then he nods and moves off down the hall.

Indeed, I am sure that Professor Minos and I are the only ones at at Watford who recognize what we witnessed today between Simon and Basilton. Human mages do not have the primal understanding of ancient lore that is more naturally familiar to non-human mages like us. 

This particular tradition is even more archaic than most and has been weakened over time to just a faint whisper. However, there is often deep truth even in folklore that has been long forgotten, so it is very possible that something real is happening here. Regardless, I’m certainly not planning to discuss it with anyone else. These boys need time and space to figure out what is going on between them. Knowing the details about this ancient legend `would only make their complicated situation even more confusing for them.

 

**Dev**

Niall is climbing the walls. He has not been able to sit still ever since the crazy ass events of this afternoon.

“You saw that, right?” he is practically shouting. “I don’t mean the dragon, I mean Simon and Baz.” This is at least the fourth time he has asked me some variation of this same question. I don’t know if he doesn’t remember or if he just needs to hear the reassurance again and again.

“I saw it.”

“What the fuck?” He is pacing in our room and running his hands through his hair.

“I have no idea.”

“I didn’t even know that was possible. Can all mages do that or is it just because Snow is...the Chosen One?”

“We don’t even really know what happened.” I reply lamely.

“Well, it sure as fuck looked like Snow was sharing his magic with Baz.” Niall barks at me.

“Yeah.” It had definitely looked exactly like that. For the past few hours, students all over school have been trying to replicate it. On our way back to our room, we passed Gareth and Rhys, Trixie and Keris, and a huge group of fifth years who were mingling around in different combinations trying to share magic. No one seemed to be having any luck.

I am less fascinated with the magic sharing phenomenon than I would be normally. All I can think about is the expression on Baz’s face afterwards. The way he was looking at Simon. And the way Simon was looking back at him. It twisted my gut and left me feeling like I was spying on something extremely private between them. “Niall…”

Niall stops pacing and looks over at me. “What?”

“I think we need to tell Baz that we know he is in love with Snow.” As I say it out loud, I know it is the right decision.

Niall stares at me. “Ok. Random. Where did that come from? Anyway, why? I thought we agreed that we were going to let Baz keep his dignity.”

I sit up and look at him intently “I know. But things have changed, haven’t they? They are on this quest to figure out who killed Baz’s mom. They are going to be working closely together and Baz is going to be dealing with all these feelings he has for Simon at the same time. It might be a lot for him to handle. I want him to know that we are there for him.”

Niall nods slowly, thinking about what I am saying. “Okay, yeah. I see what you mean.”

“And that’s not all,” I hesitate because I’m not sure I’m right. Sometimes I read into things that aren’t there (honestly, I’m a bit of a romantic). But I’m almost positive about this, so I take a deep breath and continue, “Niall...something is going on between them. I know you can see it - especially after today. I think Simon may have feelings for Baz too. I don’t think we should say anything to Baz and get his hopes up, but I want him to know that he can talk to us. In case, you know, something does happen.”

“Do you really think so?” Niall says softly. “That Snow feels the same way? If he does, then we spent all that time making them fight for nothing.”

“We can’t do anything about that now. Anyway, nothing may come of it. Snow’s so thick, I doubt he even understands what he is feeling. I’m going to get Baz to come down here, yeah?”

Niall nods and resumes pacing. “After that, can we try to share magic?”

I roll my eyes at him, then grab my phone and send Baz a quick text:  **Come to ours when u can. Need to talk to u.**

After a few minutes Baz replies:  **Busy now. Have to hunt later. Will stop by after** . 

I throw down my phone and stand up. I’ll go along with Niall’s request and give this a try. Otherwise, he is going to drive me absolutely mental.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Miss Possibelf. Teachers/adults always notice more than teenagers think they do. I wanted to give a voice to a caring adult who only wants the best for these boys.
> 
> Also, I am discovering that I love writing Dev and Niall. I think I may be a little in love with my sensitive Dev who is always thinking about other people. :)


	7. Collaboration

**Penelope**

This has been the longest and strangest day. I guess it started out normal enough. Simon was distracted at breakfast, zoned out during classes, and broke my tea pot because he was angry with Baz - nothing new, right? Then things got weird - a dragon, magic sharing, and Simon and Baz _together_ telling me about the Visiting and their truce. I am still completely thrown by all of it. At least now I know what Simon has been keeping from me.

I’m in Simon’s room while he is in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Baz took off a while ago and hasn’t come back and I really want to leave before it gets any later. I’m dying to talk to Micah and tell him everything that has happened today. Before I go, I want to check in with Simon one last time.

I zero in on him as soon as he opens the bathroom door. He is wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. “Si” I say and he looks at me. He must have washed his face because his cheeks are red and plastered with damp curls. He looks so young and vulnerable and I feel a surge of protectiveness. “Si, are you getting in over your head? Are you ok with all of this?”

He huffs at me, “Ok with what? I’m just trying to do the right thing Penny. Baz needs our help. I’m worried about him.”

“You’re worried about _Baz_.” I say with skepticism and he glares at me and scowls.

“Yeah I am. It’s his mum, Penny. Just...leave it. I’m fine.”

I want to say more, but I decide against it. Simon is determined to see this through and I know better than to try and stop him. I can’t pretend to understand why he is so determined to help Baz all of a sudden when all these years he has been treating him like a mortal enemy. But my desire to see Micah is intensifying. I stand up, grab Simon’s arm and give it a squeeze.

“You know I’m on your side, Simon. Always. We’ll figure this out together. Yeah?”

He relaxes and grins at me. “Yeah. Now go talk to Micah. I know you’re dying to fill him in on every detail. Tell him I say hi.”

**

I am back in my room and thankfully, Trixie left a note saying she is spending the night in Keris’s room. I set up the Skype call and in a few minutes, Micah is smiling at me from his bedroom, wearing his ridiculous telescope pajamas. I’m so happy to see him that I can’t hold it in any longer. I start talking a mile a minute telling him everything that has happened today. He just smiles and settles down on his bed listening, nodding, asking questions. He always knows exactly what I need from him. As I talk, I pull out my whiteboard and start making notes. It always helps me to process whatever is going on.

Probably the most unbelievable development was how Simon shared his magic and Baz was able to absorb and wield it. They made it look effortless, but it isn’t normal. (“He said he just pushed it into Baz! How is that even possible, Micah?”) Mages can’t do that. Of course, Simon has never been a typical mage. He was so nonchalant about it too. I wanted to smack him.

If he was able to share it with Baz, then he should have been able to share it with me too, but that is definitely not what happened. When Simon pushed just a tiny part of his magic into me, it was the most painful electric shock I have ever felt. Even if I had been able to endure the pain for the sake of performing powerful magic, I couldn’t physically handle it. My body rejected the magic. It actually fried the shit out of my arm.

“Do you think it means something that Simon’s magic was so compatible with Baz’s? I mean, we are best friends! Why would his magic hurt me?” Micah shrugs and starts to open his mouth, but I barrel on. “I haven’t even told you everything!” Micah’s mouth closes. "As if sharing their bloody magic wasn’t enough of a shock, after I got back to their room, they dropped a bombshell.”

Simon and Baz filled me in about Baz’s mum coming through the Veil and what she said to Simon. (“I knew he was hiding something, but I’m still surprised he kept it from me for so long. Baz actually said to me ‘We’re telling you now' Can you believe that? Like the two of _them_ are old pals bringing _me_ in the loop!”). Apparently, Simon only told Baz last night after stewing about it for the past few weeks and working himself up to it, but still - it was surreal.

Once I got over being shocked - and if I’m honest, being a little hurt too - Simon, Baz, and I spent time brainstorming and making notes on the chalkboard. It was kind of a rush working with Baz. He is clever and quick witted and we were battling for control of the chalk all night. Simon listened, adding comments here and there - between stealing bites of my dinner (he had polished off his own portion long before).

Simon is always in his element when he is planning an adventure. People assume that he is thick because he struggles so much with classes, but he is quite good at research and strategizing. He had already done a lot of preliminary searching in the weeks that he had been keeping this to himself and had pulled some relevant sources out of the library archives. I think Baz was impressed. He kept making little grunts of approval whenever Simon said something and he didn’t make a snide remark all night (or at least not many).

It turns out that Baz is a much better third than Agatha ever was. Of course, he has a personal investment in figuring out this particular mystery, but I get the feeling that he would be a great ally in other situations too. I really was having fun, but I couldn’t help but wonder at the new dynamic between Simon and Baz. It was just so bizarre to see them in the same room, at peace and working as a team.

After awhile, Simon yawned and stretched back on his bed, his shirt coming untucked, exposing some skin. He looked rumpled and content. I love when Simon is like this and I smiled fondly at him before turning away. Baz was staring at Simon with an expression that I couldn’t place. It was so odd and I’ve never seen it on his face before, although it did remind me of something. The next thing I knew, Baz grabbed an apple and announced he needed some air.

I’ve been talking for at least 45 minutes and Micah has been fully engaged the whole time, maintaining eye contact and making noises like “hmm” and “really?” or “wow” to show that he is listening intently, but not saying much else. When I mention this part about Baz looking at Simon, he looks thoughtful for a moment before finally speaking.

“Well, maybe Baz is attracted to Simon. I mean Simon’s a good looking guy. I’d probably be into him myself if I wasn’t already taken.”

“Hey,” I protest.

“You know I’m just kidding Penny. But we know Baz is gay. You’ve said before that he doesn’t seem to want to fight with Simon and that he acts more like an asshole than he actually is. It makes sense. And didn’t you say that Simon is acting differently toward Baz too? Maybe it’s mutual.”

“No way Micah. You have no idea how much Simon hates Baz. It is all he ever talks about to the point where it is almost comical. Simon just can’t stop himself from helping people in distress. That’s all this is, unfortunately. I quite like Baz, but Simon doesn’t. That’s not going to change. Now, I just want to make a few more notes…”

 

**Micah**

She is so cute when she gets started on her whiteboard. Penny is the only girl I know who thinks about everything with a dry erase marker in her hand. Is it weird that I find it sexy when she starts making lists?

It’s funny to me that she doesn’t see that Simon and Baz are probably totally into each other, even if they haven’t figured it out themselves yet. It has been a few years since I’ve seen Simon in person, but we do chat sometimes when I’m on with Penny. It is impossible to be around Simon and not be aware of his obsession with Baz. I’ve never thought it was hatred. I don’t think you spend that much time and energy on people you hate.

Penny seems pretty adamant, but I’ll bet she’s wrong on this. I guess it is because she is so used to them fighting, but honestly, hasn’t she ever heard of sexual tension?  Speaking of which...

I start to think about all the ways I might distract Penny from her whiteboard if I were actually in the same room with her right now. I would come up behind her and slip my arms around her waist. She loves it when I nibble on her earlobe and then kiss the soft spot where her ear meets her neck. Then she would turn around and...

“Micah” I notice that Penny is staring at me and frowning. “It doesn’t look like you are listening to me anymore. What are you thinking about?”

I tell her.

“Oh,” she blushes and drops her hands away from the whiteboard. We stop talking about Simon and Baz. Finally.

 

**Penelope**

Aleister Crowley. When I saw Micah staring at me just now, I realized why that look on Baz’s face looked familiar. I’ve definitely seen it before. Baz is in love with Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between chapters. It was a little bit of writer's block combined with a lot of other stuff I had to do. Thanks for hanging in there.


	8. Plotting With Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back after a long hiatus. Now that summer is here, I should have more time to finish this up. I am also thinking of a spin off story featuring Dev and Niall that is canon divergent. Would love to know what people think of that idea.

**Niall**

My mobile buzzes as I flop into a seat on the train. Dev and I shared a taxi to the station, but then went our separate ways. He’s meeting his family at a spa in Bath for the holidays and I’m heading back to my parent’s flat in London. We’re staying there for a few days before going to our estate in Hampshire on Christmas Eve. I hate being in London. My father always drags my brother and me to parties all over the city to socialize with his pretentious work friends. He says it’s never too soon for us to start networking, but we always end up stuck at a table with other bored kids watching our parents get drunk and obnoxious. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to find Dev or Baz to hang out with, but that won’t happen this year. Neither of them will be in London during the break so I’ll be on my own.

I smile blandly at the older woman sitting across from me as my pocket vibrates a few more times. She looks mildly disapproving, shakes her head and pulls some knitting out of her giant shoulder bag. I turn my attention to the group chat that has been blowing up my mobile.

 

_**Baz** : So…our plan was an epic fail. _

_**Baz** : Fucking disaster _

_**Dev:** ??? Care to elaborate?_

_**Baz** : He’s definitely not coming and he hates me again. _

_**Me** : wtf? we only left 30 minutes ago. what did you do? _

_**Baz:** I told him that I was only hitting on Agatha last year to make him mad and he went ape shit. He practically threw me out the door of our room._

_**Dev:** Mate. Seriously? Why did u tell him that? >:(_

_**Baz:** I don’t know? I thought he would appreciate my honesty…_

_**Baz:** That was stupid wasn’t it?_

_**Me:** i mean.. yah._

_**Dev:** Shut up Niall! Baz - you were going to invite him to your house again and try to convince him that you really wanted him there. Did you even do that????_

_**Baz:** No. I just thought maybe it was like tricking him? Like if he knew the truth about Agatha and me he could get back together with her and have the Christmas he really wants. Not be stuck with me. _

_**Dev:** I get what you are saying but Agatha broke up with him because she wasn’t feeling it. Telling him you were messing with her doesn’t change that they are done as a couple. _

_**Baz:** Idk. It seemed I should be honest since we have the truce now.  I thought it would make him happy, not piss him off. _

_**Dev:** Maybe it hurt more knowing that their relationship ended for nothing._

_**Baz:** Shit. I didn’t think of that. What the fuck is wrong with me?_

_**Me:** so many things...where to begin_

_**Baz:** Hey fuck you _

_**Me:** you asked dumbass. _

_**Dev:** Settle down boys. Let’s focus. Don’t worry Baz. We’ll come up with a new plan. FaceTime later?_

 

After we settle on a time to talk, I put my phone away and looked out the window grinning to myself. I thought the three of us had been pretty close before, but we have been at a whole new level since Dev and I told Baz that we knew about his crush on Simon. He denied it at first and then was super embarrassed thinking that he had been really obvious about his feelings. Eventually he came around and has totally let his guard down with us.  It turns out that Dev was right about Baz having a lot of feelings to process. It seems like Simon is all we have talked about lately, but I don’t mind. Dev is in heaven and it is fun watching him in his element, counseling lovesick Baz. I mostly offer comic relief.

The morning after we talked Baz was in a weird mood at breakfast. He was gushing one minute about them floating in the stars and scowling the next as he remembered Simon asking him to admit to being a vampire.

“Would it really be so bad if you told him the truth?” asked Dev calmly. “You would just be confirming what he already knows and it might make things easier between the two of you.”

“I may be ass over heels for him, but that doesn’t mean I trust him. I don’t think he would betray me to be cruel, but he still believes in the Mage and if it came down to making a choice, he would follow the Mage for sure,” Baz was picking at his food, not really eating anything. “He would never choose me. I can’t give him definite proof that he could use against me.”

I rolled my eyes at Dev, but didn’t say anything. It is impossible to reason with Baz when he gets in full angst mode. Dev gave me a small smile back and held my gaze for a few seconds before Baz let out a loud sigh and started talking again about how he would be meeting with Snow and Bunce every night after dinner to work on the investigation.

Later that week, Dev overheard Agatha telling Simon that he couldn’t stay with her family for the Christmas holiday like he usually did. This gave Dev the brilliant idea that Baz should invite Simon to come to Hampshire instead.

“It’s bloody perfect Baz! You can use the investigation as an excuse, but it would give you a chance to get to know each other in a completely different setting. Away from school and classes and other people.” Dev was beaming at him, very confident in his idea.

Baz took some convincing, but he eventually agreed. Unfortunately, Simon turned down the invitation and Baz couldn’t change his mind. Later that week, we found out that Simon wouldn’t be going to Penny’s house either. Dev pushed Baz to ask Simon again - and this time to be really persuasive.

That is what we thought was going to happen when we left to go to the bus station. Telling Simon about how he had manipulated Agatha was never part of the plan. Too bad Baz went off script.

 

***

 

I watch my dad laugh and slap the back of a man that I know he hates while holding up two fingers as a signal to the waiter to bring another round of drinks. We are in the ballroom of the Marriott for his company Christmas bash and he lost track of me over an hour ago. I’ve just managed to snag two full glasses of champagne and dump them into a plastic cup when my phone pings with a Snapchat from Baz. It is a picture of Simon walking down a hallway at Baz’s house with his back to the camera. He is wearing his school uniform, but no shoes. The caption reads “ _Trying not to panic!_ ” Baz must have sent the same Snap to Dev because right away a text shows up in our group chat:

 

_**Dev:** OMG. What is going on?!?!_

_**Baz:** Calm down Dev. Also why did you screenshot that?_

_**Me:** come on baz. u know dev is our mom friend_

_**Baz:** Lol true though_

_**Dev:** Fuck both of u. I screenshot because I care. And for potential blackmail_

_**Dev:** Anyway stop changing the subject! Why is Simon there?_

_**Baz:** I don’t know yet. Says he wants to talk?!_

_**Me:** about what?_

_**Baz:** Idk. Will let you know. Gotta go now._

_**Dev:**  OK! Good luck Baz!!!!_

_**Me** : dont fuck it up _

 

A few minutes later, there is an incoming call from Dev. I jump up and start walking out of the ballroom, scanning for a private place to talk away from the crowd and music. “Hiya Dev.”

Dev doesn’t even greet me, just starts raving immediately about Baz and Simon spending the holidays together after all. I can almost hear him jumping up and down as he runs through different scenarios for why Simon might have showed up out of the blue. I love it when Dev is like this - all excited and invested in something. He has a way of pulling Baz and me in, making everything fun. Half the time I don’t even know what he is talking about but his enthusiasm is infectious. I smile and lean up against the wall, giving myself over to Dev and his romantic visions of what is happening between Simon and Baz in Hampshire right now.


End file.
